Oops, I forgot = lamest excuse ever


Everyone knows “I forgot” is the worst, most unimaginative excuse in the book. But evidently that’s precisely the excuse given by Drug Enforcement Administration authorities who left a UC San Diego college student locked up in a bathroom-sized cell for almost five days without sustenance. Poor kid didn’t even have water. Had to drink his own urine. Terrible.

Daniel Wong and his buddies were celebrating 4/20 at the house of a friend when the feds showed up and busted them, took them into custody, and confiscated lots and lots of drugs (shrooms, ecstasy, pot, and a white powdery hallucinogenic substance) and several weapons (a Russian rifle, handguns, a plethora of ammunition). Well, that’s the first brow-raiser, there; perhaps those guns were legal and registered, but I always find people who insist on owning lots of weapons bizarre– people who insist on using drugs and owning lots of weapons are even more so.

Taken to a nearby detention facility, the 7 suspects were supposed to be “processed”; Wong was actually told he’d be able to leave, but instead they put him in a cell, alone, and apparently forgot him there.

Out of desperation, Wong drank his own pee and tried to carve “sorry mom” into his arm with shards from his glasses. (Since he survived kidney failure, I hope he makes a dark comedy out of this situation. Just kidding, that’s horrible.)

After three days, Wong claims he was hallucinating. At some point he found a white powdery substance (which later turned out to be meth) in his cell and consumed it.

Wait, what?

“You talk about whether they might have done it intentionally, No way because somebody’s career is done over this,” said a former federal prosecutor, one John Kirby.

Well, it’s strange you should say that, Mr. Kirby, because that’s exactly what I was thinking. And I’ve seen enough X-Files to know that the Powers that Be think nothing of tossing a few lemmings under the bus for the sake of The Grand Scheme.

But seriously, isn’t that a little strange? It’s possible Wong had the meth with him all along, even though he had been “processed” by the feds (we see how well their processing, uh, process works out). On the other hand…what if this was in fact some kind of sinister John Dies at the End-meets-1984-esque experiment of some kind? (Spooky that the poor kid’s name is even D. Wong.)

Eh, I admit, that’s all a little far-fetched…Isn’t it much more plausible that our government simply doesn’t have their shit together? Yes, I suppose it is…

But I like to have my X-Files fantasies, anyway.

p.s. Now we also know how often those detention cells get cleaned. Not to mention the waste of electricity (an apparently empty room and no one shuts the lights off? tsk tsk).

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